indigo: what happened?

AI's Taking Over Media? Yeah, Right. Wake Me When It Can Find My Keys.

Okay, so AI is "reshaping" media, huh? I just read that AI takes center stage at Indigo Trigger’s Lead-to-Cash Bash, Signaling a New Era for Media thinks so. Sales enablement, audience targeting, blah, blah, blah. Give me a freakin' break. We're supposed to believe that AI is suddenly the savior of an industry that's been circling the drain for, what, two decades?

The Hype Train is Leaving the Station (Again)

Hearst Newspapers is "rebuilding its sales infrastructure around AI." Fantastic. Last time I checked, Hearst was still laying people off and chasing digital pennies. An AI cold-call simulator? Seriously? So now robots can harass people instead of humans? Progress!

Katerina "Kat" White (gag) says "everything comes back to confidence." Translation: "We have no freakin' clue what we're doing, but we're hoping the AI will make us look like we do."

And Site Impact and Data Axle are using AI to find "action-ready audience segments." Right. Because algorithms totally understand human behavior better than, you know, actual humans.

AI Agents: The Future of Unemployment?

Brian Kennett from the Star Tribune says they'll be able to do more in a month than they used to do in a year. Great. So, what happens to the people who used to do that work? Do they get AI-powered severance packages?

Cox Media Group reclaimed 20% of staff time. That's not "reclaiming" anything; that's just a fancy way of saying "we're firing people and blaming it on the robots."

Paul Deraval's "Negative Nancy" demo "electrified the room." I'll bet. Probably because everyone realized their jobs were about to be automated into oblivion. "The future LinkedIn profile of top sellers will highlight the AI agents they've built and deployed." Oh, the horror.

The "Human Review" Fig Leaf

The Seattle Times is using AI to handle lead scoring, email generation, and ADA compliance. Awesome. So, machines are now deciding who gets a shot and ensuring websites aren't discriminatory. What could possibly go wrong?

Kennett's caution: "You still need human review. Always." Oh, really? You're gonna trust a human to double-check the work of an algorithm that's processing millions of data points? That's like asking a toddler to proofread War and Peace.

SMS reactivations and smarter payments are delivering subscription gains? So, spamming people with texts is now "cutting-edge strategy." Got it.

Oh, and secure payment gateways? Total Security Limited trading as TotalAV™ wants you to know that they are committed to protecting your personal information. I'm sure they are. After all, they're only collecting everything you do online and selling it to the highest bidder.

Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here. Maybe AI is the future of media. Maybe robots will save us all. But I'm not holding my breath.

So, What's the Real Story?

This whole AI-in-media thing smells like a desperate attempt to distract from the fact that the industry is imploding. It ain't a solution; it's a shiny, expensive band-aid on a gaping wound.